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Beautiful weekend guys, wouldn’t you agree. Am sure by now you definitely miles ahead from championing that devil called PROCRASTINATION.
I had quite a mixed weekend, Lewis Hamilton won the Hungarian grand prix for a record 8th time to take the championship lead from Valteri Bottas. But it wasn’t such a good weekend for my beloved Motogp World champion who crashed out of the Jerez grand prix and broke his right arm. But all together you guys made my weekend rock with all the beautiful comments you guys dropped on the comment section.
So let’s pump into today’s business 😉
Think about when you once rejected someone; my guess is that you probably did it out of pure respect, honesty and for some of us, we did it because the person we were ostensibly rejecting, deserved better. You see, we tend to forget that being rejected doesn’t necessarily mean that someone resents or despises us; it could be that they are saving us from a greater pain that may be lurking if they opt to be dishonest and in turn boondoggle our time. Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are various ways of being rejected and some are from pure spite, like bullying; however a majority of life’s rejections are more often than not out of pure honesty.
Perhaps the single best, most succinct advice I’d give to anyone about rejection is. “Be ready for it.” Now this doesn’t mean that you don’t put any effort in your relationships or shy away from taking risks; in fact with this knowledge, you will realize the importance of truly understanding how much that relationship means to you and if you are shrewd enough, you will understand that it’s never wise to put all your eggs in one basket; that you are better off savoring every meaningful relationship equally and your points are even higher if you are willing to work on your talents, hobbies and skills like you are willing to show support those of others.
The point is, rejection is part of life and unfortunately society has programmed us to view a “no” as a sign of failure and worthlessness rather than a sign that we are pushing our limits. Being agreeable is praised more than being objective and let’s face it, it is almost intuitive to feel an ounce of pain when hit with that rejection no matter how trivial. Fortunately unfortunately, each one of us has gone through rejection and will intermittently have seasons imbued with rejection.
Here are tips that might help deal with those Seasons:
YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS
Before you resent me let me clear the air. I strongly believe that when faced hurt (and in this case when faced with rejection) you need to allow yourself to feel the emotions, because as Sigmud Freud once said, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and they will come forth in uglier ways.”
So whether its sadness or anger, you need to express that: However! You need to remember that, how much something or someone hurts you is all dependent on your response-ability, (unless of course it’s physical pain); meaning that, how much a rejection hurts you depends on how you respond to that rejection. The intuitive is always to douse yourself in sorrow, holding pity parties or seeking some sort of revenge but, the counter-intuitive is always similarly but blindly at our disposal; to preserve our happiness, avoid self-destruction and appreciate the experience. I advise you opt for the latter.
BOLSTER YOUR SELF-AWARENES/JOURNAL
It is important to be kind to yourself, as we are naturally lopsided to being harsh on ourselves when faced with rejection: Self-loathing and the feeling of not being good enough tends to creep in and in order to combat this natural cascade, you need to remind yourself of who you truly are, you need to boost your self-esteem, you need to remember your goals and dreams.
In other words, bolstering your self-awareness is about combating the insidious intuition to self-destruct when rejected; by remembering your core values, appreciating what you still have in life, forgiving yourself for being harsh on yourself and opting not to take the rejection personal. For this you need to journal. You need to pour your heart out in writing, recording how you feel, how you’d opt to feel if it weren’t for you current emotions and how you can replace any negative emotion with a positive one.
SWITCH ENTITLEMENT WITH EMPATHY
Yes! You heard me right; rather than letting the feeling of entitlement lead you to pain and suffering, seek to face rejection with empathy. When faced with a “no” seek to face it from your “rejecter’s” vantage point. Perhaps they are not ready; perhaps they are dealing with something in their lives that they would rather not have you go through it with them; perhaps you truly deserve better; perhaps you are too different to be together or work together.
Avoid letting your ego delude you into entitlement; empathize. Needless to say this switch can only be made once you have truly bolstered your self-awareness.
EMBRACE THE REJECTION
Seek to learn from rejection. Have it etched in your mind that, at times rejection simply saves you from experiencing greater pain that may later come forth in uglier ways. Imagine if someone that you respectfully are not attracted asked you to go out on a date with them; if you say yes out of sympathy, you end up treating them as a chore rather than having a genuine time with them. You in turn make a fool out of them and God forbid, if they found out the truth, they’d wish that you had been genuine with them. The transpose is also true.
Always remember that you are not rejection neither does a rejection define you. When faced with a “no” remember that you deserve better and you are indeed pushing your limits and that should not stop you from chasing your dreams, taking more risks or simply having the courage to ask that crash out on a date; you know why, because you are limitless.
I wish you an abundance of success in your life; remember rejection is part of life, so it doesn’t need to hurt lest you respond inappropriately.
OSTENSIBLY – Apparently
LURKING – Remaining in hiding so as to wait in ambush
BOONDOGGLE – Waste money or time
INTERMITTENTLY – Not continuous; seasonal
DELUDE – Mislead
BOLSTER – Strengthen
EMPATHY – With understanding
SUCCINCT – In short
SPITE – Desire to hurt
Love and Respect from all of us here at GREENCIRCLE to you guys out there (Our loving readers)
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