Category: GCC

POSITIONING OUR BRAIN TO LOVE DOING THE HARD THINGS (DETOXING OUR DOPAMINE)

Avatar greencirclecolumn September 19, 2020 5

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #success #discipline

Have to say guys that we’re really sorry for we’ve been away for quite some time, due to some unexplainable situations, but I trust you guys have been good?. #greencircle is back for you guys💪💪

Recently I have come to the realization that, the brain is a wonderful servant but a terrible master. Some of this realization has come from experience, but what really accentuated this fact, was my curiosity― on how our brains sometimes allow to ignore some activities that would benefit us. ― To understand how the brain works and specifically in terms of opting to do the easier, fun and insidiously addictive activities instead of the difficult yet fulfilling, activities that produce long term results. Here is what I found out:

Take a minute and pause; ask yourself why it is so easy for you to stay on your phone for hours and hours yet so hard for you to focus on reading a book for 30 minutes. Well… it’s because of a chemical produced in the brain known as DOPAMINE . DOPAMINE is simply what makes us desire; commonly referred to us the pleasure molecule but, it is in fact what gives us motivation to get up and do stuff. With this in mind, your motivation to do an activity is highly dependent on how much DOPAMINE the activity produces. More DOPAMINE means, a repetition of that activity and vice versa.

So which activities release the much acclaimed DOPAMINE? Here is how it works. Your brain releases DOPAMINE only if it anticipates that the activity will have an instant reward, however if an activity doesn’t give instant gratification― even if it has clear long term benefits like reading― your brain won’t release DOPAMINE. A good example is opting to be spellbound by the glaring white screen of your phone for hours rather than invest that quality time, on a book or learning a new skill, even if the latter has long term benefits compared to the former. Which corroborates my aforementioned statement (on being a good servant but a terrible master); see the brain doesn’t care how detrimental an activity maybe to you, so long as it gets more and more DOPAMINE.

This explains our guilty pleasures; our bad habits such as procrastination, addiction to porn, drugs, binge drinking and even binging junk food, etc. Even with all the self-help books, podcasts, videos and seminars that incessantly inspire and motivate us to transcend our average selves; back sliding to our peril behaviors is always inevitable. DOPAMINE has become the digital heroine that is freely being prescribed to all ages in our generation.
The average data that we spend on reading self-help book, listening to podcast, etc can not be compared to what we waste on social media watching funny videos and watching other people live their lives. This is a perfect example of how our brain can trick us into doing things that will not help us in the long run.

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But wait a minute… how come there are people around us who, regardless of all this DOPAMINE triggers, are able to focus on their studies for long hours or set time each day for vigorous exercise? I personally have seen my grandparents spend time reading their bible (deeply) for hours on end without fidgeting. I have read books and even watched in various documentaries how prisoners hold dear their time for exercise; spending about an hour or more each day vigorously ‘punishing’ their bodies.

There is only one explanation, these people (whether it’s our grandparent or that prisoner) don’t have the peril DOPAMINE triggers in their lives; in other words, they only have these activities (reading, exercise or meditation) to produce DOPAMINE, thus forcing the brain to find pleasure in such. This is where it gets interesting…

See, the brain is more relative than it is objective; you will most likely purchase an item from the super market because an exact similar item of a different brand is either more expensive or cheaper (depending on whether you are flamboyant or frugal. Similarly you are most likely to click on a video on YouTube video because a similar video of the same topic is either longer or shorter (again depending on whether you think you have more time or limited time to be on YouTube). To simply put, the brain makes decisions based on comparison. It is why discounts work so well, whether they are legitimate or not.

With this understanding, it is no wonder my grandparents would opt to― and can in fact― stay for hours on end savoring the spiritual words from their Bible: They prefers that to simply doing nothing. The same applies to prisoners with exercising.

HOW TO DETOX OUR DOPAMINE
So how do we, “young-ins” ― considering that we are neither grandparents nor prisoners― trick our brains to love doing the hard things/ activities, in our digital world where DOPAMINE is served hot at every corner; whether through junk food, sales or the internet? In other words, how can you go about DOPAMINE detox?

The first thing is to identify all your guilty pleasures, triggers and bad habits; whether it is the internet, junk food, music, movies and series, video games, porn or binge drinking, etc; be aware of them, for the simple reason that awareness precedes change.

Secondly, you need to embrace voluntary discomfort. Pick a day of the week, where you put off all these high release DOPAMINE activities that you enjoy.

Allow yourself to be in your own thoughts, to have moments of boredom that will prompt you to pick up a book and read. To have moments of solitude that will allow you to write down your thoughts in a journal or as those of us with toxic masculinity like to refer to as, meditating on paper (laughs). Let this day be your day off. Trust me, after a few months or weeks, your brain will be relishing these days.

Thirdly, you can opt to have your guilty pleasure as a reward at the end of every productive day. Take note of the words, end and productive. Also, let your rewards be sensible and moral. Pornography and drugs in the name of rewards will only flash all your hard work down the drain.

Remember that your life is not worth that ephemeral feel good sensation that will debase the quality of your life in the long run. Let your brain serve you by ensuring it releases this otherwise motivational chemical on activities that will have long-term benefits in your life. Take control.

To being your best self,
#greencircle

Let’s hear from your in the comment section.
Or you can chat us up on IG @greencirclecolumn or via our direct e-mail on greencirclecolumn@aol.com.

SELF (PURE) LOVE

Avatar greencirclecolumn August 8, 2020 15

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #greening #lifestyle #love #selflove #purelove…..

Hi guys!, what a beautiful weekend this is going to be. Am so pumped up💪for today and the rest of the weekend. I bet you guys are having a blast of a weekend.
Our last post gave me so much joy, when I looked and saw over 50+ likes and 50+ comments from you guys.
Am thrilled guys. You’re all cherished🙌🙌.

OH MY, CHECK THIS 👇OUT GUYS!!!

We have all had that moment, whether for a split second or for eons, where you compare your lowest moments to other people’s highlight reels or your start up to someone else’s ten year experience; and at that moment you suddenly wish you could be like them, if not them. Without self love we end up with a series of self-hate episodes, feeling unworthy, useless and worse depressed.

We are constantly reminded to love ourselves. In today’s world everyone seems to be a stickler for self-love; from hashtags, to captions, to self-help books and now this particular article 😇😉 but what does it actually mean? What is self-love all about?

Self-love is defined as “love of self” or “regard for one’s own happiness or advantage” and  has both been conceptualized as a basic human necessity to purge away any personal moral flaw we may inject ourselves with.
Would like to steer you to do further findings on self.

Now, where were we?….ohhh yeah, got ya there😉😋
ROBIN SHARMA, a phenomenal chap and the author of the famous novel; “THE MONK WHO SOLD HIS FERRARI” once said that; adults are simply deteriorated children, and I wouldn’t agree less, because, while talking about self-love or loving yourself more, I like to think about that inner child that rests within each one us: Now think about how you’d want to take care of that child.
You have probably heard of the platitude; “Actions speak louder than words.”
Self-love is all about your actions. Whatever you do directly improves or taints your self-love. Here is how to pursue the former.

APPRECIATE YOUR UNIQUENESS
Succinctly; Comparison is the thief of joy.
Appreciating your uniqueness is all about realizing that, the best thing to do is to be yourself, because everyone else is taken. It’s about treating yourself like you are willing to treat others. It’s about believing and having it etched in your heart that the world would be less of a place without your magic.
You are a personal brand. So sell yourself, let the world have you as you are; because you are not inferior, you are not superior, you are simply you💪💪.

BE VERY INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR TIME
It is without a doubt the most precious commodity that we have is time, and yet we spend it the worst of all.
Being intentional with your time means that you prioritize your high impact value activities, in other words, the 20% of activities that yield 80% of your results.
At a time where everything is seeking your attention and preying on your time, the best you can do is be frugal with that time, accounting for every hour if not minutes.

LEARN TO DO THE HARD THINGS
I like to refer to it as voluntary discomfort.
If you had a child who only wanted to watch TV all day, chances are you’d instill some discipline in them, to ensure that they spend some time on their school work or chores, simply to train their minds on how to tackle day to day activities. The child might abhor the idea and even hate you… no HATEis a strong word, maybe just scorn at you, but you’d know that your heart is only filled with pure love towards the child and hence your conscience would not settle if you are bringing up a lazy individual.
The same applies to us individually: Matter of fact take that concept and copy paste in your own circumstance. Voluntary discomfort trains your mind to easily do the easier things and to deal with difficult circumstances much stronger. It bolsters your will power. You become more resilient; you believe in yourself more; you become more capable and more enthusiastic towards life. Unafraid of what hills or mountains may be lurking ahead.

LIVE IN THE PRESENT
How often do you simply sit, and appreciate the meal that you are having; without the distraction of your phone or anxious thoughts about what you ought to be doing or where you ought to be?
Living in the present means practicing the art of gratitude. You can only live in the moment if you truly savor that present moment. Realizing that prayers you made years ago are being answered; that someone else is praying for whatever you have. That you are blessed to be healthy with renewed vitality and a purified mind.
We often forget how special we are by focusing on mistakes we made years ago. Instead of confronting our feelings and feeling them as mere feelings, we opt to encapsulate them in a bottle and try to forget them, only for them to recur at an inappropriate time. The only time you have is now, savor it. Self-love will blossom.

BE QUICK TO FORGIVE YOURSELF
“The more you know yourself, the more you forgive yourself” – CONFUCIUS (Chinese philosopher)
That’s it! If you find it hard to forgive yourself, you simply haven’t had closure with yourself; you simply don’t know yourself. All forgiveness is self-forgiveness, and when you are adamant to forgive yourself, you are simply holding yourself prisoner.
You need to understand that experiences are merely experiences and like OPRAH says; forgiving yourself is when you can say, “Thank you for that experience.”

REWARD YOURSELF
Fun should be a priority in your routine. Well-deserved after a day’s work. Take note of the words, “routine”, “well-deserved” and “after a day’s work”
Your reward should be your motivation to be your best self. Its communication that you truly appreciate yourself. That you understand how unique you are, how much effort you are putting in. That you are with yourself every step of the way because you are your biggest cheerleader, fan, subscriber, etc. That of all people, you should be most concerned with what you think of yourself and how you treat yourself. That you understand that true love is portrayed through actions.
So don’t shy away from having a good time. You deserved it.

CONCLUSION
Practicing self-love can be challenging for many of us, especially in times when we face serious challenges. Getting in touch with ourselves, our well-being and our happiness is an uphill task.
So i canvass you to look in the mirror and quote the next paragraph to yourself  before leaving your room in the morning.
“Hey you! Did you know that you’re very special? There is no other person in this world like you. You deserve to be loved not only by those around you but by the most important person in your life,”YOU”.

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DEALING WITH REJECTION

Avatar greencirclecolumn July 25, 2020 52

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #greening #lifestyle #weekend #rejection

Beautiful weekend guys, wouldn’t you agree. Am sure by now you definitely miles ahead from championing that devil called PROCRASTINATION.
I had quite a mixed weekend, Lewis Hamilton won the Hungarian grand prix for a record 8th time to take the championship lead from Valteri Bottas. But it wasn’t such a good weekend for my beloved Motogp World champion who crashed out of the Jerez grand prix and broke his right arm. But all together you guys made my weekend rock with all the beautiful comments you guys dropped on the comment section.

So let’s pump into today’s business 😉

Think about when you once rejected someone; my guess is that you probably did it out of pure respect, honesty and for some of us, we did it because the person we were ostensibly rejecting, deserved better. You see, we tend to forget that being rejected doesn’t necessarily mean that someone resents or despises us; it could be that they are saving us from a greater pain that may be lurking if they opt to be dishonest and in turn boondoggle our time. Don’t get me wrong, I know that there are various ways of being rejected and some are from pure spite, like bullying; however a majority of life’s rejections are more often than not out of pure honesty.

Perhaps the single best, most succinct advice I’d give to anyone about rejection is. “Be ready for it.” Now this doesn’t mean that you don’t put any effort in your relationships or shy away from taking risks; in fact with this knowledge, you will realize the importance of truly understanding how much that relationship means to you and if you are shrewd enough, you will understand that it’s never wise to put all your eggs in one basket; that you are better off savoring every meaningful relationship equally and your points are even higher if you are willing to work on your talents, hobbies and skills like you are willing to show support those of others.

The point is, rejection is part of life and unfortunately society has programmed us to view a “no” as a sign of failure and worthlessness rather than a sign that we are pushing our limits. Being agreeable is praised more than being objective and let’s face it, it is almost intuitive to feel an ounce of pain when hit with that rejection no matter how trivial. Fortunately unfortunately, each one of us has gone through rejection and will intermittently have seasons imbued with rejection.

Here are tips that might help deal with those Seasons:

YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS
Before you resent me let me clear the air. I strongly believe that when faced hurt (and in this case when faced with rejection) you need to allow yourself to feel the emotions, because as Sigmud Freud once said, “Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and they will come forth in uglier ways.”

So whether its sadness or anger, you need to express that: However! You need to remember that, how much something or someone hurts you is all dependent on your response-ability, (unless of course it’s physical pain); meaning that, how much a rejection hurts you depends on how you respond to that rejection. The intuitive is always to douse yourself in sorrow, holding pity parties or seeking some sort of revenge but, the counter-intuitive is always similarly but blindly at our disposal; to preserve our happiness, avoid self-destruction and appreciate the experience. I advise you opt for the latter.

BOLSTER YOUR SELF-AWARENES/JOURNAL

It is important to be kind to yourself, as we are naturally lopsided to being harsh on ourselves when faced with rejection: Self-loathing and the feeling of not being good enough tends to creep in and in order to combat this natural cascade, you need to remind yourself of who you truly are, you need to boost your self-esteem, you need to remember your goals and dreams.

In other words, bolstering your self-awareness is about combating the insidious intuition to self-destruct when rejected; by remembering your core values, appreciating what you still have in life, forgiving yourself for being harsh on yourself and opting not to take the rejection personal. For this you need to journal. You need to pour your heart out in writing, recording how you feel, how you’d opt to feel if it weren’t for you current emotions and how you can replace any negative emotion with a positive one.

SWITCH ENTITLEMENT WITH EMPATHY

Yes! You heard me right; rather than letting the feeling of entitlement lead you to pain and suffering, seek to face rejection with empathy. When faced with a “no” seek to face it from your “rejecter’s” vantage point. Perhaps they are not ready; perhaps they are dealing with something in their lives that they would rather not have you go through it with them; perhaps you truly deserve better; perhaps you are too different to be together or work together.

Avoid letting your ego delude you into entitlement; empathize. Needless to say this switch can only be made once you have truly bolstered your self-awareness.

EMBRACE THE REJECTION

Seek to learn from rejection. Have it etched in your mind that, at times rejection simply saves you from experiencing greater pain that may later come forth in uglier ways. Imagine if someone that you respectfully are not attracted asked you to go out on a date with them; if you say yes out of sympathy, you end up treating them as a chore rather than having a genuine time with them. You in turn make a fool out of them and God forbid, if they found out the truth, they’d wish that you had been genuine with them. The transpose is also true.

Always remember that you are not rejection neither does a rejection define you. When faced with a “no” remember that you deserve better and you are indeed pushing your limits and that should not stop you from chasing your dreams, taking more risks or simply having the courage to ask that crash out on a date; you know why, because you are limitless.

I wish you an abundance of success in your life; remember rejection is part of life, so it doesn’t need to hurt lest you respond inappropriately.

VOCABULARY :

OSTENSIBLY – Apparently

LURKING – Remaining in hiding so as to wait in ambush

BOONDOGGLE – Waste money or time

INTERMITTENTLY – Not continuous; seasonal

DELUDE – Mislead

BOLSTER – Strengthen

EMPATHY – With understanding

SUCCINCT – In short

SPITE – Desire to hurt

Love and Respect from all of us here at GREENCIRCLE to you guys out there (Our loving readers)

Keep in touch in the comment section.

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PROCRASTINATE ONLY PROCRASTINATION (3 ways to combat PROCRASTINATION and WIN)

Avatar greencirclecolumn July 18, 2020 27

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #procrastination #purpose

Hi guys, can you believe that we’ve been away for quite a while now, I honestly apologise for not bei g present last week. I was on a very long road trip of 456.6 miles (10hours), so the cellular service was not quite steady, so I decided to save it for today. I definitely missed you guys.

So let’s jump right into it…….

PROCRASTI – WHAT???? (NO, NO, NO) 🙅‍♂️🙅‍♀️

Perhaps the best way to overcome procrastination is to procrastinate procrastinating. Needless to say I have been a victim of procrastination. Time and time again I have talked myself out of procrastination yet, like a bat out of hell, I constantly find myself doused in the infinite cycle that decimates the quality of my life; procrastination.

Before you get hard on yourself; it is in human nature to procrastinate. ABRAHAM MASLOW put it better than I ever could when he said: “We are generally afraid to become that which we can glimpse in our most perfect moments.”

Procrastination is as a result of the fear imbued within us. It could be fear of failure, fear of incapability, fear of criticism or fear of rejection (you name them). One of my greatest epiphanies is from Napoleon Hill’s book―Think and Grow Rich. The book is emphatic on the fact that, fear just like happiness or sadness, is a state of mind created by how we process and interpret the events in our lives. We tend to brood over trifling thoughts that in turn create a deluded clairvoyance, convincing us that we may not be as good as we think to perform a task or we may actually be better than we think and hence can afford to put off a task till the last minute.

If you ask anyone who the fastest learners in the world are, they will definitely tell you kids; that goes without question. Think about it, kids will get their tasks done immediately whether it is playing outside or learning how to walk, they will do it without hesitance; fall seven times and still move on with the task at hand. Now that I think of it, I realize that my two year old nephew rarely procrastinates… okay perhaps only when it’s time for him to take his meals (chuckles) and even then, he will quickly master incentives, devour his meal and head out to play. Unlike us, kids have learnt to be comfortable in their own skin, unafraid of being judged, failing or laughed at, they have endeavored to procrastinate procrastinating.

I know you might be thinking, “GREENCIRCLE”, the title reads, 3 ways to combat procrastination and win, surely acting like my 4 year old self isn’t one of them is it?” Fear not, it isn’t. However, developing a childlike mindset may do you a great deal in conjunction with these 3 easy ways.

1. JUST START

I have often heard people claim that they are yet to start a particular task simply because they are perfectionists and are probably waiting for the perfect time; perhaps when they get the best equipment or when they are not too ‘busy’ to focus on the task. Such a thought paradigm is a delusion in all manner because, perfectionism is actually the consistent yet steady growth to perfection. Meaning that if you are indeed a perfectionist, you understand that in order to reach “perfection” you have to start at a lower level then gradually work toward the top.

So the “perfectionism” ideology has become an alibi for many. In all honesty, we are not practicing perfectionism; we succinctly are afraid to start simply because we are overwhelmed by the size of the job whether consciously or sub-consciously.

According to a research carried out in 1920 by a young Russian psychology graduate named Bluma Zeigarnik; she found out that, starting any activity causes your mind to experience some kind of psychic anxiety until the activity has been completed. Which explains why as students we are able to retain what we have revised for a paper and forget everything immediately we leave the exam room. What happens is that, once you start studying for a paper, your mind will automatically be in corporation until the task ahead (In this case the paper) is complete.

So start that project even if “just for a few minutes,” you will immediately get the urge to see the project through to completion.

2. DOUBLE THINKING.

I am sure you have heard about the power of visualization, matter of fact Albert Einstein said it best, verbatim; “Imagination is more important than knowledge.”

Many of the world’s top performers, have credited their success to the power of imagination and visualization. They were able to visualize their endgame at the very preliminary stages of their success odyssey. But visualize your best self is only one part of the process, in fact people who only imagine their best selves or endgame success are highly susceptible to procrastination because of fairly to understand the double thinking phenomenon.

Double thinking simply means that, as much as you are envisioning yourself at your primal genius or ultimate success, you also need to envision the step by step process by which you will hit the nail by its head. Succinctly, learn to visualize yourself putting in the actual work meant to steer you to achieving your goal.

3. HAVE A BENEFICIARY

I have recently become a follower of Jim Kwik’s life tenets and one of them is; when you are doing something—a task or simply waking up in the morning―ask yourself; ‘who is counting on me to win today?’

As social beings we tend to perform a task better when we know that someone will benefit out of it. It is in our nature to simply do good for people, and that’s why it feels bad when we are wronged or when we wrong others, but let me not get tangential.

A beneficiary could be anyone including yourself; studying for your end of term paper will not only benefit you but also your parents. Imagine the big smiles on their faces upon seeing your results, as a matter of fact you will be their reason to be joyful and thus improving their vitality which will in turn cascade to long life full of bliss, I could go on and on but I trust you get the point.

If the goal you are procrastinating on does not befit that of a charity where people benefit directly, no fret, draw back home; because you my friend are a beneficiary, in fact, the universe will benefit if you simply offer it your best self.

CONCLUSION

So, if you have to procrastinate, then procrastinate procrastinating.

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.” …

Best wishes,

Greencircle

I would definitely love to know your intellectual thoughts on PROCRASTINATION and how you deal with it..
So, please make use of our comment section below. Also share with friends.
Our direct channels are still open, you can chat us directly on WhatsApp by tapping the WhatsApp logo on our site, or on IG @greencirclecolumn or via our direct e-mail at greencirclecolumn@aol.com

 

ANGER (A temporary emotion, that causes permanent damage)

Avatar greencirclecolumn July 4, 2020 26

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #anger #rage #fury #emotion

Happy New month guys, am most certainly sure that we’re all excited about July’s prospect. Well for me am particularly happy because of the return of F1.🕺🕺

In my opinion, anger is one of the worst emotions to experience. Anger is an intense emotional state that involves a strong uncomfortable and hostile response to a perceived provocation, hurt, or threat.

Despite what some people may think, no one is perfect. We all have certain triggers that create massive amounts of anger within us, some more than others of course. Regardless of the intensity, the trigger may be, anger is a very unpleasant and useless emotion. Allowing anger to control our lives, instead of us dominating the feelings of anger is not healthy.

There are definitely a lot of triggers to anger, but I will only discuss on few which research has shown to be the most primary triggers to anger.

1. YOUR CHILDHOOD AND UPBRINGING

2. PAST EXPERIENCES

3. CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES

Whether your anger is about something that happened in the past or something that’s going on right now, thinking about how and why we interpret and react to situations can help us learn how to cope with our emotions better. It can also help us find productive strategies to handle our anger.

YOUR CHILDHOOD AND UPBRINGING

How we learn to cope with anger feelings are often influenced by our upbringing. Many people are given messages about anger as children that may make it harder to manage it as an adult. For example:

You may have grown up thinking that it’s always okay to act out your anger aggressively or violently, and so you didn’t learn how to understand and manage your anger feelings. This could mean you have angry outbursts whenever you don’t like the way someone is behaving, or whenever you are in a situation you don’t like.

You may have been brought up to believe that you shouldn’t complain, and may have been punished for expressing anger as a child. This could mean that you tend to suppress your anger and it becomes a long-term problem, where you react inappropriately to new situations you’re not comfortable with. If you don’t feel you can release your anger in a healthy way, you might also turn this inwards on yourself.

You may have witnessed your parents’ or other adults’ anger when it was out of control, and learned to think of anger as something that is destructive and terrifying. This could mean that you now feel afraid of your own anger and don’t feel safe expressing your feelings when something makes you angry. Those feelings might then surface at another unconnected time, which may feel hard to explain.

PAST EXPERIENCES

If you’ve experienced particular situations in the past that made you feel angry, such as abuse, trauma or bullying (either as a child or more recently as an adult), and you weren’t able to safely express your anger at the time, you might still be coping with those angry feelings now.

This might mean that you now find certain situations particularly challenging, and more likely to make you angry.

Sometimes your present feeling of anger may not only be about the current situation but may also be related to a past experience, which can mean that the anger you are feeling in the present is at a level that reflects your past situation.

Becoming aware of this can help us to find ways of responding to situations in the present in a safer and less distressed way.

CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES

If you’re dealing with a lot of other problems in your life right now, you might find yourself feeling angry more easily than usual, or getting angry at unrelated things.

If there’s a particular situation that’s making you feel angry, but you don’t feel able to express your anger directly or resolve it, then you might find yourself expressing that anger at other times.

Example of this kind of anger feeling is the current state of things in the world (Covid-19), your previous way of life has been wiped out cause of the pandemic and your getting angry because you can’t do nothing to stop it.

Another typical example of this kind of feeling is joblessness, finding yourself unemployed triggers a lot of anger feeling, bacause you know you jobless but just can’t do anything about it, other than sending job applications and appearing for interviews, which the outcome is definitely beyond your control.

Anger can also be a part of grief. If you’ve lost someone important to you, it can be hugely difficult to cope with all the conflicting things you might be feeling.

There are things we can do to help us gain some control of the situation and attempt to rectify the problem. Instead of throwing a toddler-like temper tantrum, which seldom gets any positive results, venting about your feelings could eliminate some of the harsh emotions before they even get out of hand.

There are many anger management tips you might benefit from during a time you are feeling an intense amount of anger.

Some of them are my diagnosis while some are from experts, or anger therapist.

CONCENTRATE AND FOCUS ON TAKING DEEP BREATHS

Slowly inhale and count to 4, then slowly exhale while counting to 8. Continue this exercise 4-5 more times, inhale slowly count to 4 then exhale slowly count to 8. This gets our mind off the reasons you were angry and combats your body’s tension, which will help you calm down.

ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ANGER AS A SHORT-LIVED EMOTION

Even though while in the moment it seems like the feeling will not ever end, try to remind yourself that it will end in a matter of time.

GET YOURSELF OUT OF THE SITUATION YOU ARE IN

A slight change in scenery and walking away from the person causing your anger will allow you to clear your mind and calm down.

EXPRESS YOURSELF IN ANY WAY YOU CAN!

Allowing feelings to be bottled up is not healthy and could cause more problems in the long run. You can call a friend, partner, family member or anyone else you feel comfortable confiding in. Talking about problems is the best way to put things in perspective and help you figure out what you are truly angry about in the first place.

MUSIC CAN HAVE A POWERFUL EFFECT ON THE MIND AND SOUL

You may have a few songs that never fail to calm you down when your emotions are on high alert and even make you smile again. I have several songs that can always make me happy and actually relaxed. Do you have any songs or bands that help your mind calm down?

Dance around the room to a song that you can draw energy from. Not everyone is a good dancer, but you do not have to be. It is just moving around and staying active that can release negative energy caused by anger. If you absolutely hate the idea of dancing around the room, it is okay any exercise can alleviate feelings of anger.

FOCUS YOUR MIND ON COUNTING BACKWARD FROM 100

This very simple task can keep your mind occupied for 2 minutes or so. Just think, by silently counting for a couple of minutes, you can enjoy some peace and quiet!

CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A MOMENT AND IMAGINE YOUR HAPPY PLACE

No matter where your happy place is, having that image in your mind can calm you down drastically! My happy place is an Island, so whenever I am feeling angry or frustrated, I picture myself on a Fiji Island listening to the sounds of the waves crashing down and the smell of saltwater in the air. Sometimes, it almost feels like I am there in the present.

CONSIDER YOUR LANGUAGE

Considering and underatand that some words that flood your mind are not at all helpful. Terms like always and never can be defeated words that will not allow for positive outcomes. When we are angry we tend to think nothing will ever go our way and life isn’t going to get better. We might be having a day when our pain is higher and we say to ourselves the pain is never going away and it will always be here. I have had those days and thoughts, but that did not help me feel better either. Subconsciously, thoughts like these we are convincing ourselves the situation is worse than it really is.

Anger can produce various emotions and can potentially cause us to act in irrational ways. In the heat of the moment, it seems like an easier and better idea to act without logic; however when we act in an unreasonable manner it only creates more issues for the long-term.

While we are dealing with angry feelings there are some things we should try our best to avoid.

One of the worst ways we can respond to feelings of anger is by saying and doing nothing. If we try avoiding those feelings they will only continue to grow stronger because they are left to simmer in our minds.

Some people think that going for a drive to clear your mind and calm their emotions is a good thing. No matter how great a driver you might be, driving angry can reduce your concentration, making getting behind the wheel hazardous.

It surprises me that some people have the ability to go to sleep angry. It is very common that the person going to sleep angry will not get good quality sleep and therefore will be sleep deprived the following day. Sleep deprivation is only going to add to the feelings of anger and frustration.

Another awful thing to do when angry is to keep the argument going. Nothing good will come from this situation and there comes a point when a break is needed to calm down!

Also, adding alcohol to a situation with anger involved will only add fuel to the already heated fire! Basically, it is best to avoid alcohol until the situation has been handled and a resolution has been found.

It is best to NEVER make any huge decisions while emotions are on high alert. Sometimes we need to place things on hold and not make any decision till when things are back on track, because somethings will be hard if not impossible to correct.

CONCLUSION

Don’t do something permanently STUPID, because you’re temporarily angry.

I would definitely love to hear your beautiful intellectual thoughts on ANGER.

So, please make use of our comment section below. Also share with friends.

Our direct channels are still open, you can chat us directly on WhatsApp by tapping the WhatsApp logo on our site, or on IG @greencirclecolumn or via our direct e-mail at greencirclecolumn@aol.com

THE INFLUENCE AND POTENTIALITY OF CONSISTENCY.

Avatar greencirclecolumn June 27, 2020 18

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #success #greatness #perseverance #determination #consistency

Hi guys, so sorry that we haven’t posted anything in a while, I have been sufficiently under the weather for some time now. Still recovering though, so we might not be able to be posting twice a week like before for the time being, but I promise to always try and drop something here at least once a week. So sorry guys.

So let’s delve right into today’s mission CONSISTENCY….

Simplest meaning of consistency is to “remain constant or to remain steady”. But if we properly understand the word consistent, then it becomes the act of self-regulation that can keep the mind very flexible.

Consistency is a helpful key to change your beliefs. If you are consistent, then people will admire you, people will start to believe in your work. They will get attracted to your daily attempts and may become confident towards you.

But do you know that consistency is the result of “boring and dedicated” hard work. It takes a strong will power to motivate yourself to do the same thing again and again just to get a desired result.

POWER OF CONSISTENCY

If you see the world around you and check the nature of successful people, you will find consistency as one common thing in all of them. They had more powerful desire or will power than their brain.

Below are some of the positive changes that you will realize after consistent efforts:

CONSISTENCY IS LIKE COMPOUND INTEREST: If you do apply it every time, it helps you to grow more in magnitude.

IMPROVES THE ABILITY OF TIME MANAGEMENT: After consistent efforts you will learn how much time you have to apply to do a particular thing.

This leads to good time management.

IMPROVES SELF DISCIPLINE AND SELF-CONFIDENCE: If you stick to your routine and remain consistent for a long period of time, you will gain more control over yourself and you would not procrastinate your work.

EASY TO MAKE NEW HABIT: It is natural for our brain to adopt new things in the future very easily if it is trained in the past. This default tendency of our brain helps us to learn new things quickly, that is how human became smarter and smarter with time period as compared to animals.

LESS DISTRACTION AND MORE CLARITY: When you are consistent in your work, you are less likely to be distracted by the things around you. It is because your mind has adapted to do the same work daily.

DIFFICULTY TO ACHIEVE CONSISTENCY

Now we have talked a lot about the power of consistency, but now it’s time to talk about some difficulty to achieve consistency. Because if “we don’t know the cause of the disease then how can we cure that disease”.

CONSISTENCY SEEMS LIKE A BORING LIFESTYLE : In initial days you will become bored with your task in less 30 minutes but you have to stay with your plan and a lot of will power is required to complete it.

OVER DEPENDENCE ON MOTIVATION: Motivation is indeed necessary to get us up and moving when we are in a halt. But once the wheels of your car start rolling and you gain momentum of two or three days, you should no longer depend on the motivation of others, because once the motivator is not there anymore you will break down.

LACK OF CONTROL : You need to contain your urges, try to focus on your goal, detach yourself from the things which prove to be hindrances, like excessive use WhatsApp, Facebook, YouTube and Instagram.

LACK OF INTEREST: Occasionally you will loose interest in your work in your initial days, but continuous efforts will automatically bring interest to you.

LOST HOPE: After some period, you will notice that you are not getting the desired results, at that time you will start questioning yourself and your efforts and ultimately loose hope. So, the key to tackle this situation is to relax for few hours or days and think about what you have achieved.

OVER EXPECTATION: This is the most common mistake which we all make. We all expect very big for us in a very small time. And when we see that results are not coming as per our expectation, we leave that job incomplete.

PLEASURE VS HARD WORK: Somewhere in your journey to your success, you will get tempted by the pleasures. They are the sharp stones in your path, you have to take care of them and focus on your goal.

PROCRASTINATION: Leave your laziness aside and start working from the moment you think of doing some work. If you screw procrastination in the first few weeks, it will not disturb you in the future.

Let’s look at some small basic steps that can help us in achieving consistency.

STEPS TO ACHIEVE CONSISTENCY

PICK A TARGET: A person without an aim is just like a ship without a radar“. So the first thing we need is to pick a target on which we want to become consistent. If you have a definite target then your brain regularly reminds you about your commitment.

CLEAR VISION: Keep your eye on your “Why”. Many people ignore this because they do not have any proper goal and they don’t know how to execute their plan.

Having a clear vision helps you to concentrate on your work and keeps away the worthless distraction from you. Always ask yourself 3 questions to stay self-motivated – Why am I doing this? Is this work beneficial for me? Can I learn something from this?

BEGIN WITH A SMALL STEP : It’s like running in a marathon. You have to start running slowly and steadily, and then you have to increase your pace as the end point nears.

So always start with small steps and do not make a big commitment in the beginning. To become consistent in any work you require motivation, which always comes from fulfillment. For beginners, success in small things is better than failure in big things.

PICK ONE THING AT A TIME: Don’t run for too many things, make sure that you expertise one particular thing at first. A common mistake is committed by most of the people, they try to learn too many things at a single time and end up getting confused and tired between all of them.

SCHEDULE YOUR PRIORITIES: A famous quote by Steven Covey – “Don’t prioritize your schedule, schedule your priorities “. Always make a to do list or priority list by the night of the previous day to follow up in the next day so that you can follow your aim.

DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR BRAIN (NOT IN ALL SCENARIOS) : Many instances will come when your brain will force you to stop or break your consistency, it is due to the fact that our brain gets attracted towards the pleasure.

You have to manipulate your brain by intimidating it, or you can use some secret quotes and words like “Shut up! If I am not successful, you will not make a difference.”

DON’T SKIP A DAY: Remember that “skipping a day at work is not the last day of your laziness, it is the first day of not completing your job.” So, stick to your plan of completing the job on daily basis otherwise you will be left with tons of regret.

MAKES A TO-DO LIST AND STICK IT ON THE WALL: This method has proved to be quiet helpful for many people and this is the most practical way to fight your brain without using too much of your will power and it also strengthens your quality of working hour.

ENJOY YOUR FAILURE AND LEARN FROM IT AND CONTINUE THE WORK: This is the thing which happens with every people – ‘failure’. But the difference is that some learn from their mistakes and carry on with their work and some people break the commitment and continue to curse themselve.

Think of a small kid who is trying to walk for the first time. He will make mistakes while stepping but it won’t stop him to try walking.

FIND (KNOW) YOUR WEAKNESSES : If you can’t maintain your routine or can’t be consistent on your commitment, then the first thing that you have to do is to find your weaknesses.

Why can’t you maintain your consistency? Is there any problem in your lifestyle? Or, you can’t manage your time ? When you get the proper answer for these questions, then without wasting any time start working on your weaknesses and try to solve it as soon as possible.

REWARDS: It is the newest technique in practices which encourages your brain to work more. As I mentioned earlier, our brain runs for pleasure. So, in this method you have to reward yourself after completing a task, and this reward should provide pleasure to your brain. Here, reward works as a bait to your brain.

STOP BLAMING OTHERS: Your life does not depends on others, it is your responsibility, and your decisions are results of your brain. Blaming others does not change the outcome, whether good or bad. You have to own your failures and you have to find the solutions to them. It is the ultimate factor to improve yourself.

CONCLUSION

When PERSISTENCE and CONSISTENCE form a SYNERGY, the ENERGY of your RESISTANCE becomes your breakfast.

What you WANT will BURY your PROGRESS but what you NEED will CARRY you through the PROCESS,

Because, SUCCESS doesn’t come from what you do OCCASIONALLY , it comes from what you do CONSISTENTLY.

Remember to air your views and complaints in our comment section below, or you can chat us up on IG @greencirclecolumn or via our direct e-mail on greencirclecolumn@aol.com or greencirclecolumn@gmail.com.

JOURNEY TO GREATNESS (Unleashing your true potentials)

Avatar greencirclecolumn June 17, 2020 23

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #success #greatness #perseverance #determination

Hi guys, it’s been a long, hard, and terrifying 3 months, bacause of the Coronavirus pandemic. So, please as our various countries prepare to activate another phase of easing lockdown, please let’s all do well to follow safety measures set out by our government. It’s not going to be easy at first, but we’ll sail through this. So we all gotta stay focused and be careful. My late Father, of blessed memories always told me and my siblings; “don’t be carefully careful, but be carelessly careful”. So let’s apply that as we embark on embracing outdoor activities again….lets all #staysafe

 

GREATNESS?, whoa…let’s kick it😉

If you view achieving GREATNESS as you life depends on it, then nothing will stop or distract you from achieving it.

The Journey to Greatness………..

The journey everyone embarks on, many end up somewhere; only a few get there. The journey to GREATNESS is a rough ride, not for the faint hearted. It takes DETERMINATION, TENACITY, ENDURANCE, PERSEVERANCE, PERSISTENCE and PATIENCE to get through the trials, failures, oppositions and obstacles in order to attain GREATNESS. For you to attain GREATNESS you have to know what you want and be willing to risk whatever it takes, if possible everything to get it, anything else can wait. You just can not afford to backdown from the challenges, obstacles and trials the journey throws at you.

If you desire to attain greatness, you must remember, and always bear it in mind that; no matter how hard, how rough, how deep it gets, you must keep going. DEAN KARNAZES(a phenomenal chap) once said “run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must, just don’t give up”. Do what you have to, as long as you keep going.

Believing you are a victim or you’re defeated will not get you to GREATNESS, But believing you are a VICTOR and you’re capable will get you there; Embrace the mindset that all the failures and trials you face are preparing you for the GREATNESS. Failure should teach you, not undertake you

On the go, you will feel weak and frustrated about the things that seem to be impossible to do, goals that seem unreachable, time you can not turn back, and skills you can’t seem to acquire, it’s then, you must pause and remember that those challenges are what separates you from the rest, and makes your story worth telling.

To attain, GREATNESS you will need to never stick with the status quo, you need to keep pushing otherwise you will end up somewhere far from greatness. Challenges are just temporary detour, not a dead end, rise above them and keep soaring.

The journey to greatness provides you with the exact challenges that you are meant to face and overcome in oder to be great. Fear and self-doubt are the greatest detractors of greatness. When you get down, thinking nothing is left, when you feel like you have reached a dead end, when you find yourself stuck between a hard surface and rock bottom; the choice of what you do next is what ultimately determines whether you will end up somewhere or you will attain greatness. Falling is delay not defeat, get back up and keep walking.

 

Know that, in pursuit for greatness you will fail often, you will need to step up when the times are the toughest, you will face opposition, you will need to walk over the snakes, you will need to pass through the red sea, you will go hungry and thirsty, there are a lot of roadblocks, But you can not afford to backdown.

Your dedication and determination to reach greatness in the face of adversity will carry you through to the very end. You will you get scared, just don’t let it stop you; just take a deep breath and whisper to yourself, that there is nothing you won’t do, and there is no length you wouldn’t go to reach GREATNESS (you can do it).

 

The Journey to GREATNESS requires you to THINK, FOCUS, BELIEVE, ACT and ACHIEVE. You have tremendous potential to attain greatness. Always strive to turn every crisis into an opportunity, don’t bury your failures, let them inspire you to do better, But don’t carry your failures around, use them as stepping stones to rise above them. Failures should teach you, not undertake you.

I came up with some UNDENIABLE TRUTHS THAT ENABLES YOU TO REACH GREATNESS below:

1. A BURNING DESIRE- A burning Desire is the starting point of greatness. Everything in life always boils down to; “how bad do you want to it”?, “Do you want it that bad”?. You require a burning desire to plant your feet on your goals and not be moved. If you want to be great, you must be willing to cut all sources of retreat. There is no challenge, not even a dime, that can overwhelm a person with a burning desire to win.

2.  – You need to be “success-conscious” to attain GREATNESS. Being success-conscious means your mind is consumed with the desire to succeed that you already see yourself successful. GREATNESS has to become a reality in your mind, otherwise you will end up somewhere far from greatness.

3. FACE YOUR FEARS- In your journey to success, you will face the greatest detractor of success; fear of failure. Winners are not afraid of failure. It’s ok to be afraid, you will have fear at some point, if not all the time, but it’s not having fear that is the problem, It’s how you handle fear. You must step up and face your fears in-order to overcome it and achieve GREATNESS. Once you overcome fear, you are virtually UNLIMITED. You should always remember those small things like, when you were a kid learning how to ride a bike, did falling off your bike stop you from trying again?, Falling was part of your learning and it never stopped you, right? Now get back up and ride again.

4. MEASURE YOUR PROGRESS– take time to look back from where you are from, locate your present position, and determine what you must do to get to your next level. Measuring your progress helps you envision what the next level will be for you. No matter how bad your progress is, it’s still progress so don’t be too hard on yourself, you are doing your best; give yourself some credit. Remember yourself why and keep going. At any given time you can do so much better, you should do better.

5. REPLACE EVERY NEGATIVE THOUGHT WITH A POSITIVE ONE- For example- “I am worthless”

Replace this with “I am not as bad as I think about myself. I have a great personality, have had a great education, have a supportive family and many blessings that I discard. Maybe I am lost at the moment but I will figure it all out in due time.“

No matter how much we deny, there is always something positive going on our in life that we don’t give much attention to. However once we start being mindful of our thoughts, these positive things become more apparent and we are then able to address them appropriately.

6. BE MINDFUL OF YOUR THOUGHTS- Never let your thoughts run unmonitored. Think about what you think, be aware. In fact try this out, whenever you have a negative thought, stomp on the ground! While you stomp, imagine you are stomping an ant which is actually the negative thought. ANTs are Automatic Negative Thoughts – like, “I’m not smart enough” or, “I have a bad memory.”

CONCLUSION

My today’s conclusion is a little poem I wrote about GREATNESS. Please relate to it.

Before you were born, And were still too tiny for the human eye to see,                                    You won the race of life  From among 250 million competitors.                                            And yet, How fast you have forgotten Your strength, When your very existence Is proof of your greatness.                                                      You were born a winner, A warrior, One who defied the odds by surviving the most gruesome battle of them all.

And now that you are a giant,                          Why do you even doubt victory against smaller numbers, And wider margins?                          The only walls that exist, Are those you have placed in your mind.

And whatever obstacles you conceive, Exist only because you have forgotten What you have already Achieved.”

 

FORGIVENESS!! (HARD TO FORGIVE, BUT SWEET WHEN WE ACCOMPLISH IT)

Avatar greencirclecolumn June 13, 2020 12

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #forgiveness #betteryou

Happy weekend guys, for all the sport lovers am sure you guys are rocking on in front of your TV screens as sporting activities makes a full comeback this weekend. Good to know that some good are coming back peice by piece.

So forgiveness; pretty tough stuff, don’t you think?

What does forgiveness mean to you? According to psychologists, whether forgiveness is deserved or not, it is a conscious and deliberate decision to release the feelings of resentment or vengeance towards the individual who caused the harm. Now, forgiveness does not mean forgetting what has occurred that you are excusing the wrongful and indecorous acts.
Forgiveness is not an easy task, especially if there was an intense amount of hurt and loss of trust involved. There are some acts that take hours, days, months, years, or even a lifetime to forgive. Coming to terms with what happened to cause your hurt can be very complicated, but taking the proper steps can provide both emotional and physical benefits.
Forgiveness is so complicated that psychologists have broken it down into two parts.

PART ONE is referred to as decisional forgiveness. This part means to make the decision to forgive and not seek out retribution or retaliation. This is typically the easier aspect of forgiveness because it is the type of person we are. It is understood that someone has done us wrong, but our morals remind us that causing them harm will not solve any issue and will cause additional problems.

PART TWO is known as emotional forgiveness. This is the second part of forgiveness and tends to take longer than decisional forgiveness. During this part of forgiveness,there is a release of the negative emotions we are feeling towards the person that was part of the wrongdoings.

Forgiveness is often considered to be fulfilled when there are not any negative emotions lingering and our feelings are neutral. It has been suggested that forgiveness occurs when the feelings you once felt for the wrongdoer are able to return. Emotional forgiveness entails us to abolish any unforgiving feelings.

Many people seem to get confused about what forgiveness is and isn’t. The following items are examples of what forgiveness isn’t.

1. FORGETTING- Even though we may have come to terms with what caused our hurt, it doesn’t mean we have forgotten what took place. Remembering the wrongdoing can be beneficial for us so we do not fall into the same negative trap again.

2. CONDONING- You do not have to view the wrongdoing as acceptable or allow the person that did wrong to behave in the same manner again.
Denying or minimizing- Emotionally you may have moved on from the hurtful situation, but this doesn’t mean the severity of hurt inflicted should be denied.

3. PARDONING- Even if we have forgiven the person that hurt us, it doesn’t mean justice can’t be served. You may need your local law enforcement to get involved if the situation requires them.

4. RECONCILIATION- Forgiveness could involve mending a damaged relationship. However, just because we have forgiven someone, it doesn’t mean the person that caused the hurt should remain in our life.

5. REPRESSION- When you are hurt by someone, this is a valid feeling. Just because we have forgiven someone, doesn’t mean we should push our feelings into our unconscious mind.

Forgiveness does offer many health benefits as it can effectively combat the physical and emotional effects of the wrongdoing. Other benefits include positive effects on anger, anxiety, grief, post-traumatic stress, depression, blood pressure, and even lower back pain.

 

There have been several models developed to help make forgiveness a little easier.

 

A creator of the first scientifically proven forgiveness program in the USA.

Robert D. ENRIGHT, Ph.D. and a professor, at the University of Wisconsin-Madison and a pioneer in the scientific research of forgiveness, shows how forgiveness can reduce anxiety and depression while increasing self-esteem and hopefulness towards one’s future. Dr.Robert D. Enright, broke forgiveness into four phases, which are as followed:

 

UNCOVERING PHASE-

This phase consists of five questions to answer before forgiveness can take place.

1. Who has hurt you and who are they to you?

2. What was done to cause your hurt?

3. What took place, was said, and the circumstance encircling the act

4. What was the outcome or the act? What ways were you impacted?

5. How did the act affect your mental and emotional well-being?

This phase allows you to uncover as much as you can about what took place. Addressing the issues will cause emotional distress, but will definitely come back good after the process.

 

DECISION PHASE-

This is a decision you will make to direct your life in a positive direction. This relates to decisional forgiveness and requires you to let go of any feelings of retaliation.

 

WORK PHASE-

You may need to change your views of the person that wronged you. This could require you to look past the way this person has hurt you and view their background for answers regarding their behaviour. Once you can view this person in a different way, you may realize the actions were due to their childhood or other aspects of their past and be able to empathize with them. Nothing you have discovered requires reconciliation, but you might be able to start taking small steps to rebuild the relationship if that’s what you want.

 

DEEPENING PHASE-

This is the final step in understanding that forgiveness provides an emotional release. You can acknowledge that the negative emotions felt are because the wrongdoing has eased up and it is time to forgive the wrongdoer.

 

You know that our growth tends to come during the most difficult times in our life. You may even begin looking at your own life and actions made differently and see that you may need to seek forgiveness from another person.

A professor at Virginia Commonwealth University, Everett Worthington Jr. Ph.D. created a different model called “Worthington REACH Forgiveness MODEL”. REACH is an acronym, each letter representing a stage in the model.

 

R= RECALL- This is the first step, where you need to look back at the event that caused your hurt. It might be difficult, but keep things as objective as you can. Only stick to the facts and words that were spoken. Remember the person that wronged you is not a bad person, they are simply human. You are not a victim, but you are just another human being. The wrongdoing you experienced is no more than a series of actions taken.

 

E= EMPATHIZE- This will be challenging, but we need to try putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes. If we asked this person, what would be a possible reason they behaved as they did? Did they have motives? Were there circumstances involved and how did they contribute to the hurtful event?

Are you able to see any reason you can feel sympathy for the wrongdoer?

 

A= ALTRUISTIC GIFT– We will be viewing forgiveness as a gift to the wrongdoer in this model. This is a gift coming from a purely unselfish point. This is not an easy step, but it is an important step.

Think back to a time you may have hurt someone else causing that person to have a challenging time, but this person forgave you. How did this make you feel? Were you relieved you were forgiven?

Now, recall a time when you previously forgave someone? How did this make you feel? Completely understanding that forgiving in the past offered you comfort and peace; would you consider this to be a gift?

 

C= COMMIT- When you finally reach the point you are ready to forgive the wrongdoer, you must be sure you fully commit to this.

How are you going to move forward with forgiving? Write a letter or email?, call the person or any other means you see fit?. Whatever you decide to do, remind yourself you are fully committed to forgiving and act on it!

 

H= HOLD ONTO FORGIVENESS- In the previous stage, we were committing to forgiving in a way that we would not change our minds. Remember, forgiving is completely up to you and you hold the power to choose what emotions you allow to control your mind. The memories of the situation will always be there. Just remember, you are not taking the forgiveness away, just know and remember the way you felt, so you will hopefully not feel it again.

Anything can be forgiven; just some acts may take longer to get through. When we forgive someone nothing will happen overnight, so remember to take the time you need to be ready to forgive!

 

CONCLUSION

It takes a great mind to forgive, it also take a brave one to forgive. We should be able to forgive since Jesus Christ has always been able to forgive, and also forgiveness is a law.

But as individuals, we think differently and act differently, I might take long to forgive, you might forgive in the blink of an eye. That doesn’t make me better than you or you better than me.

We should take time and evaluate everything that happened, before we can say we forgive, because forgiveness is not an easy thing.

Forgiveness is a choice.

 

Thank you for visiting my site today. I hope this information was beneficial to you. Sometimes forgiveness might seem impossible, but with the right amount of time and understanding, you will get there. I would love to read your thoughts on forgiveness. We have all been in a position we had to make a choice to forgive someone or not. I do think forgiveness is more to help our emotional state of mind, than the other person, but what do you think?

The comments section is open for your thoughts and insights, or you connect with us on IG @greencirclecolumn or via our direct e-mail on greencirclecolumn@aol.com.

Please never forget that I am always sending y’all LOTS of love, comfort, and many positive vibes!!

Greencirclecolumn loves you all, we’re definitely heading to greener pastures.

 

 

HOW DEPRESSION CAN BE A SPRINGBOARD TO FINDING YOUR PURPOSE IN LIFE.

Avatar greencirclecolumn June 10, 2020 34

#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #depression #lifepurpose

Hi guys, am sure you’re wondering why we (greencirclecolumn) did not put something down on Saturday….Well, to be honest, I went playing soccer on Thursday under a heavy rain, (funny right? 😂🤣), so I had a little cramp which knocked me out for the better part of the weekend.
I promise to make it up to you guys this coming Saturday.

So today’s business:

One of the hardest thing to find in life is our “PURPOSE” on earth (yeah, even harder than finding true love). We might be very successful in our respective fields, but later realise that it wasn’t our purpose. Finding happiness in what we do is a very valid sign that we’re serving our purpose on earth (not in all scenarios).
Lets focus on me a little bit in the next paragraph.

Can one have more than one purpose in life?, absolutely.
One out of my many purposes in life is to use what God has imbedded in me to pass a message, touch lives, and influence people via my weekly post on this blog. Have I always known of my ability to write?, you bet ya, but I have been procrastinating about starting this blog for years,but the coronavirus pandemic made our government enforce self isolation and lockdown for the better part of the past 3 months, which brought about excess boredom and an increased level of depression to me, and I had no choice but to embrace this beautiful God given talent. And believe me when I say that it has been a beautiful experience, and I haven’t regretted a second of it, because whenever I take a look at our (Greencirclecolumn) comment section, it gives me so much joy that we have been able to touch so many lives in such a short period of time.

One of the most debilitating things about having depression is that it robs you of a sense of purpose. I’m the kind of person who needs to be working toward something at all times to feel fulfilled — yet my depression makes me feel aimless, like I’m wading through an endless swamp with no final destination.

Depression impacts our ability to make and stick with decisions, removes the sense of pleasure from activities we used to enjoy and challenges us to find our motivation to get out of bed, let alone work toward a goal. That’s why behavioral activation is a major part of depression recovery: scheduling pleasurable activities into your day helps you rediscover that sense of purpose again.

But what about purpose on a grander scale? No one talks about how depression makes us question our life or career choices, wondering if we can trust ourselves to know what’s best for us. Or, how depression affects our decisions, leading us to stay in unhealthy relationships or at a job we hate for far too long.

Depression presents the following question: how can you find and work toward the life of your dreams when you can barely summon the will to live? I firmly believe that discovering your life path and feeling like you are consciously working toward a life you love is an essential part of recovering from depression.

Although it probably feels far-fetched right now, I believe you CAN discover your purpose when life itself feels purposeless — and here’s how to do it.

DISCOVER YOUR GREATEST STRENGTHS
When we feel depressed, we often lose sight of all the wonderful things about ourselves that other people love. That’s why recognizing your strengths can help bring meaning back into your life.

To discover your greatest strengths, you have a couple of options. Firstly, you can try taking a test like the High5 Strengths Test, which will give you a list of your top five greatest strengths based on your instinctual answers. Or, if you don’t have the attention span for a long quiz, try keeping a brag book filled with all the compliments you receive throughout the course of your days.

If you’re really stuck, try asking your therapist or a loved one for help discovering your greatest strengths. Depression distorts our worldview, so sometimes, all it takes for us to see ourselves more accurately is a little shift in our perspective!

BUILD MEANINGFUL ACTIVITIES INTO YOUR DAY
I’ve often talk a lot about behavioral activation with people, but never the theory behind it — which is that behavior actually precedes motivation. While you might be waiting to feel “motivated” again before getting back to your daily activities, researchers have found that small actions actually motivate us to do more.

When you’re clinically depressed, it can feel challenging to fill your days with meaningful activities when literally nothing feels meaningful. In this case, it helps to look at a list of pleasurable activities and circle the ones you used to enjoy, way back before you began to feel this way.

Even if the last time you remember feeling true happiness was when you were a child, ask yourself: is there something you used to do as a kid that would bring you a tiny spark of joy now — for example, coloring in a coloring book or sucking on a popsicle until your lips turn purple?

Then, write out a behavioral activation schedule and start to fill it in with a handful of small actions you can take to bring meaning back to your days. You might be skeptical that doing any of these things would actually bring you pleasure — especially when pleasure feels like such a foreign concept — but often, all it takes to begin feeling better is to bite the frog and take that first step, even when you don’t quite feel like it.

IF YOU CAN’T LIVE FOR YOURSELF, LIVE FOR OTHERS
From Oprah Winfrey to Jim Carrey, the history books are full of people who worked their way up from humble beginnings by turning their pain into passion. Oprah was abused; Carrey was homeless — yet both went on to become wildly successful. How, exactly, did they do that, despite facing tremendous odds?

So many people find their passion by discovering an outlet for their pain. Many people diagnosed with chronic illnesses find meaning by advocating for others with their disease. Others are able to turn their pain into beautiful art through drawing, painting, dancing or songwriting — and in turn, their art brings meaning to others who might be going through the same things.

When you’re in the midst of depression, it’s difficult to imagine this devastating disease ever having a positive effect on your life. But if you are able to turn your pain into passion, if you are able to turn your heartbreak into a means of connecting with or helping others, depression can actually become one of your greatest assets. It’s about working with, not against, your depression to create something meaningful and constructive.

EXPAND YOUR SOCIAL NETWORK
Above all else, depression is a disease of isolation — which makes sense! After all, social connections lend meaning to our lives. Human beings are not meant to be islands, yet today’s virtual world can feel lonelier than ever. Nowadays, we can connect with hundreds of people online every day while still feeling like we have no true friends.

One of the things that helped me most during the worst of my depression, which I’ve talked about it to people, was offering to help people who couldn’t help themselves. Actions like this and other voluntary aide will encourage you to be social, open up to others and make new connections with people in the same boat as you. If you’re anything like me, this probably sounds super terrifying — but you’ll never reap the benefits if you never give it a chance!

I was able to champion my depression by starting this blog. And I bet you can surpass if you can just make that one bold and terrifying move.

And, if all of this feels impossible, I encourage you to consider whether social anxiety could be contributing to your depression. If social situations give you panic attacks or unreasonable levels of anxiety, including physical symptoms (i.e. shaking; sweaty palms), you might consider seeing a therapist who can help treat you for social anxiety disorder.

Air your views and complaints in our comment section below, or you can chat us up on IG @greencirclecolumn or via our direct e-mail on greencirclecolumn@aol.com

“SELF RELIANCE”(THE MOST IMPORTANT TOOL IN SELF DISCOVERY)

Avatar greencirclecolumn June 3, 2020 16

#greencirclecolumn #lifestyle #selfreliance

HAPPY NEW MONTH FOLKS, GREENCIRCLE WISHES ALL HER VIEWERS A BLESSED AND TANTALIZED JUNE…

“Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world. Ironically, even your own shadow leaves you when you’re in the darkness”. So what is SELF Relianc?… Self Reliance is referred to as “Reliance on one’s powers and resources than those of others.”

The ability to depend on oneself is one of the greatest blessings which is very rare to find. Those who attain it has the instrumental weapon or armourment to conducting and carrying out their lives.

Self reliance is very hard to find because we live in times and age where we are more dependent on external events than on ourselves. The funny or unfortunate part about this exterior dependence (depending on others) is that we do not have control over the variables which we base our reliability upon. They lure us into relying heavily on them by what seems to be an enticing habit which we endup adapting to. Now, the dangerous part of adopting this temporary foreign (external) habits is that it becomes very difficult to break out of the chains they establish around us. We become addicts of circumstances and as a result, we get hurt as and when they escape us.

Mathematically speaking, we base ourselves on the Y-axis and we allocate those things which we have absolutely no control over on the most important part of the diagram of life- the X-axis. What do i mean? By virtue of being on the Y-axis we become a variable which strongly depend on the X-axis for our progress and growth. Of the many examples that I will give which I will use as components of the X-axis are things like Friends, Relationships, Fashion, Trends, Sex, Alcohol to name but a few. By the way, in this context X is greater than Y.

We are easy to break down and feel lonely when we are in our own because we are so used to being part of the group. That relationship which we prioritize so much hurts us when it fails to continue consistently. When the trends become halted we feel like we don’t have a life, because remember your Y can’t progress if X is not expanding. We set so much expectations on variables that we can’t command into being how we desire. When such variables decides otherwise, we are left miserable and lonely.

Matter of fact, we are not independent enough, and it’s not difficult for one to notice that our own company bores the living day light out of ourselves. We do not invest in the things that we like or really love personally. Instead we invest in things that will make us appear cool and get others to like us. We entrust people with things that are gonna hurt us once they (people) fail to keep up with the execution plan. We give ourselves out to the world and forget to give ourselves to us. We make the things that might change overnight, an exponential factor of our life thus once the world takes a different direction we are drastically affected and hurt.

We are moved by silly things like the absence of sex, alcohol, data etc. and feel super empty. You know why? Because we’ve wholly structured our life around the elements which are not within our powers to which we can dictate. We are addicted to “dressing out” and going out, because we want to be seen and liked hence being within our space becomes a total disaster. Our own space bores us. On a lengthy note, because we allow the world to define us we endup partaking in things that we don’t like personally but we do it for the world. We indulge in substances just so we can appear cool to a bunch of friends. We buy certain things to conform to a societal standard set by a factor on the X-axis.

The presence of self reliance teaches us to be our own man and woman to write his/her story. Self reliance allows us an opportunity to become an exponential factor of our own life. In defining and serving our purpose on earth, we need to be independent from the world. A self reliable being makes decisions that are guided from within instead of the external pressures. When things don’t work out, a self reliant being takes blame and find alternatives approach instead of blaming external factors which imposed and influenced such a decision which didn’t materialize.

I am of the view that it’s as dangerous to rely on things that you can’t control. Frankly, the world is inconsistent and not so reliable. Typically, your own spouse, friend or associate can be the reason you’re late for an event yet you’ve been ready for the past hour. That right there is a sign of giving too much priority and basing external components on the X-axis of your life. The likelihood is that you’ll endup blaming such situations for your life not working out. You’ll forget that you prioritized a certain aspect and blame it when you’re hurt and disappointed. You’ll find it hard to heal from a failed relationship because you were never in charge as a variable of Y-axis.

The world has made sure that it finds better ways to manipulate you with a sole aim to deter your from being independent. Words such as “you’re full of yourself; who do you think you are; you’re selfish etc.” are there to make pull you down from being your own man. Wake the hell up and smell the coffee. Depend on yourself and you shall live life according to what you’re destined to be and not how the world wants you to be.

Compliment yourself for your looks, credit yourself for your own work, congratulate yourself for your progress, take yourself out on a date, love yourself more than anyone can ever love you. That’s the way to being independent. That’s the way to define and command your life into being what you feel should be. That’s you being a craftsman taming his/her own life. You’ll avoid disappointments, unnecessary pain, and you’ll feel more alive. Your own company won’t bore you. You’ll start investing on things you like. You’ll be ready to do certain things by yourself. You’ll be early for events and meetings because, you’re your own man (woman).

Never and never again, shall you blame others for miscalculated decisions. But you’ll be accountable and responsible for your own life. Rely on thyself.
GO BE YOURSELF…

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