#greencirclecolumn #greenerpastures #lifestyle #anger #rage #fury #emotion
Happy New month guys, am most certainly sure that we’re all excited about July’s prospect. Well for me am particularly happy because of the return of F1.🕺🕺
In my opinion, anger is one of the worst emotions to experience. Anger is an intense emotional state that involves a strong uncomfortable and hostile response to a perceived provocation, hurt, or threat.
Despite what some people may think, no one is perfect. We all have certain triggers that create massive amounts of anger within us, some more than others of course. Regardless of the intensity, the trigger may be, anger is a very unpleasant and useless emotion. Allowing anger to control our lives, instead of us dominating the feelings of anger is not healthy.
There are definitely a lot of triggers to anger, but I will only discuss on few which research has shown to be the most primary triggers to anger.
1. YOUR CHILDHOOD AND UPBRINGING
2. PAST EXPERIENCES
3. CURRENT CIRCUMSTANCES
Whether your anger is about something that happened in the past or something that’s going on right now, thinking about how and why we interpret and react to situations can help us learn how to cope with our emotions better. It can also help us find productive strategies to handle our anger.
YOUR CHILDHOOD AND UPBRINGING
How we learn to cope with anger feelings are often influenced by our upbringing. Many people are given messages about anger as children that may make it harder to manage it as an adult. For example:
You may have grown up thinking that it’s always okay to act out your anger aggressively or violently, and so you didn’t learn how to understand and manage your anger feelings. This could mean you have angry outbursts whenever you don’t like the way someone is behaving, or whenever you are in a situation you don’t like.
You may have been brought up to believe that you shouldn’t complain, and may have been punished for expressing anger as a child. This could mean that you tend to suppress your anger and it becomes a long-term problem, where you react inappropriately to new situations you’re not comfortable with. If you don’t feel you can release your anger in a healthy way, you might also turn this inwards on yourself.
You may have witnessed your parents’ or other adults’ anger when it was out of control, and learned to think of anger as something that is destructive and terrifying. This could mean that you now feel afraid of your own anger and don’t feel safe expressing your feelings when something makes you angry. Those feelings might then surface at another unconnected time, which may feel hard to explain.
If you’ve experienced particular situations in the past that made you feel angry, such as abuse, trauma or bullying (either as a child or more recently as an adult), and you weren’t able to safely express your anger at the time, you might still be coping with those angry feelings now.
This might mean that you now find certain situations particularly challenging, and more likely to make you angry.
Sometimes your present feeling of anger may not only be about the current situation but may also be related to a past experience, which can mean that the anger you are feeling in the present is at a level that reflects your past situation.
Becoming aware of this can help us to find ways of responding to situations in the present in a safer and less distressed way.
If you’re dealing with a lot of other problems in your life right now, you might find yourself feeling angry more easily than usual, or getting angry at unrelated things.
If there’s a particular situation that’s making you feel angry, but you don’t feel able to express your anger directly or resolve it, then you might find yourself expressing that anger at other times.
Example of this kind of anger feeling is the current state of things in the world (Covid-19), your previous way of life has been wiped out cause of the pandemic and your getting angry because you can’t do nothing to stop it.
Another typical example of this kind of feeling is joblessness, finding yourself unemployed triggers a lot of anger feeling, bacause you know you jobless but just can’t do anything about it, other than sending job applications and appearing for interviews, which the outcome is definitely beyond your control.
Anger can also be a part of grief. If you’ve lost someone important to you, it can be hugely difficult to cope with all the conflicting things you might be feeling.
There are things we can do to help us gain some control of the situation and attempt to rectify the problem. Instead of throwing a toddler-like temper tantrum, which seldom gets any positive results, venting about your feelings could eliminate some of the harsh emotions before they even get out of hand.
There are many anger management tips you might benefit from during a time you are feeling an intense amount of anger.
Some of them are my diagnosis while some are from experts, or anger therapist.
CONCENTRATE AND FOCUS ON TAKING DEEP BREATHS
Slowly inhale and count to 4, then slowly exhale while counting to 8. Continue this exercise 4-5 more times, inhale slowly count to 4 then exhale slowly count to 8. This gets our mind off the reasons you were angry and combats your body’s tension, which will help you calm down.
ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR ANGER AS A SHORT-LIVED EMOTION
Even though while in the moment it seems like the feeling will not ever end, try to remind yourself that it will end in a matter of time.
GET YOURSELF OUT OF THE SITUATION YOU ARE IN
A slight change in scenery and walking away from the person causing your anger will allow you to clear your mind and calm down.
EXPRESS YOURSELF IN ANY WAY YOU CAN!
Allowing feelings to be bottled up is not healthy and could cause more problems in the long run. You can call a friend, partner, family member or anyone else you feel comfortable confiding in. Talking about problems is the best way to put things in perspective and help you figure out what you are truly angry about in the first place.
MUSIC CAN HAVE A POWERFUL EFFECT ON THE MIND AND SOUL
You may have a few songs that never fail to calm you down when your emotions are on high alert and even make you smile again. I have several songs that can always make me happy and actually relaxed. Do you have any songs or bands that help your mind calm down?
Dance around the room to a song that you can draw energy from. Not everyone is a good dancer, but you do not have to be. It is just moving around and staying active that can release negative energy caused by anger. If you absolutely hate the idea of dancing around the room, it is okay any exercise can alleviate feelings of anger.
FOCUS YOUR MIND ON COUNTING BACKWARD FROM 100
This very simple task can keep your mind occupied for 2 minutes or so. Just think, by silently counting for a couple of minutes, you can enjoy some peace and quiet!
CLOSE YOUR EYES FOR A MOMENT AND IMAGINE YOUR HAPPY PLACE
No matter where your happy place is, having that image in your mind can calm you down drastically! My happy place is an Island, so whenever I am feeling angry or frustrated, I picture myself on a Fiji Island listening to the sounds of the waves crashing down and the smell of saltwater in the air. Sometimes, it almost feels like I am there in the present.
CONSIDER YOUR LANGUAGE
Considering and underatand that some words that flood your mind are not at all helpful. Terms like always and never can be defeated words that will not allow for positive outcomes. When we are angry we tend to think nothing will ever go our way and life isn’t going to get better. We might be having a day when our pain is higher and we say to ourselves the pain is never going away and it will always be here. I have had those days and thoughts, but that did not help me feel better either. Subconsciously, thoughts like these we are convincing ourselves the situation is worse than it really is.
Anger can produce various emotions and can potentially cause us to act in irrational ways. In the heat of the moment, it seems like an easier and better idea to act without logic; however when we act in an unreasonable manner it only creates more issues for the long-term.
While we are dealing with angry feelings there are some things we should try our best to avoid.
One of the worst ways we can respond to feelings of anger is by saying and doing nothing. If we try avoiding those feelings they will only continue to grow stronger because they are left to simmer in our minds.
Some people think that going for a drive to clear your mind and calm their emotions is a good thing. No matter how great a driver you might be, driving angry can reduce your concentration, making getting behind the wheel hazardous.
It surprises me that some people have the ability to go to sleep angry. It is very common that the person going to sleep angry will not get good quality sleep and therefore will be sleep deprived the following day. Sleep deprivation is only going to add to the feelings of anger and frustration.
Another awful thing to do when angry is to keep the argument going. Nothing good will come from this situation and there comes a point when a break is needed to calm down!
Also, adding alcohol to a situation with anger involved will only add fuel to the already heated fire! Basically, it is best to avoid alcohol until the situation has been handled and a resolution has been found.
It is best to NEVER make any huge decisions while emotions are on high alert. Sometimes we need to place things on hold and not make any decision till when things are back on track, because somethings will be hard if not impossible to correct.
Don’t do something permanently STUPID, because you’re temporarily angry.
I would definitely love to hear your beautiful intellectual thoughts on ANGER.
So, please make use of our comment section below. Also share with friends.
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